Blog Archives

Seeing can be an unconscious function

Emile Durkheim

Image via Wikipedia

Seeing in the Dark. When people dismiss the idea of an unconscious affecting their behavior I will share this story. Wouldn’t it be amazing to be aware of things and not consciously aware of them?

Reading allows us to belong to fictitious groups (via A Man With A Ph.D.)

Image representing Big Think as depicted in Cr...

Image via CrunchBase

It is amazing why they need to research this. Just go to an Anime convention and tell me they don’t believe they are psychologically part of a community.

How Reading Expands the Sense of Self [Via Big Think] New psychological research out of the University of Buffalo demonstrates how, “When we read, we psychologically become part of the community described in the narrative—be they wizards or vampires. That mechanism satisfies the deeply human, evolutionarily crucial, need for belonging.” [More] This fits with my previous post – about how expanded our caring circles are compared with ot … Read More

via A Man With A Ph.D.

Happiness is Contagious – The Emotional Life

Many Faces of Happiness

Image via Wikipedia

Happiness is Contagious. I am watching a documentary called The Emotional Life. I am on Ep. 3 – Rethinking happiness. It discussed how positive feelings from your friends, friend, friend, friend can positively affect you.  Pretty cool isn’t it?

I really like this series. They have shared some of the more interesting parts of psychology. It shows you in each episode that often our frustrations are normal things and that we just have to be patient with ourselves and others. I don’t believe in self-help, but you can’t help but be inspired by the strength you see in others.

Book Review: The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work 9780307591548: Shawn Achor: Books

Amazon.com: The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work 9780307591548: Shawn Achor: Books. This is one of the better Happiness related books I have read.  I would suggest reading it.  It had some useful information and nicely summaries many studies and research.  I appreciated how he supported his statements with fact, and he was focused on the goal.

Betalogue » Word 2011: Autonumbering madness

Betalogue » Word 2011: Autonumbering madness. Interesting that the behavior is different than how Pages handle it.  I agree this is inconsistent.

How to deal with indirect or passive-agressive people – 10 steps

We all have to deal with these kind of people.  They are the ones who from this wiki article do:

learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.[1]

  1. Don’t engage in their drama. They thrive on conflict or the appearance of avoidance of conflict.  You can’t make them understand logically their behavior.  It is not a conscious thing for them.
  2. Set firm boundaries and look at the bottom line. The bottom line is their actions towards you.  Don’t try to justify or explain their behavior.  Just consider if what they do is acceptable to you or not.  If it is not, set up a consequence before they have to do something for you.  Then follow through with consequences.
  3. Don’t try to solve their problems. This is a good general rule but it will be even more tempting with these people.  Since they act like a victim you will naturally be pulled into being a hero to try to help them.  Don’t do it.  The healthiest relationships don’t have a imbalance of power like this.
  4. Once you realize they can’t be trusted, don’t be surprised when they act that way. These people who don’t have integrity to themselves won’t have it towards you either.  You should never assume that the way someone treats you is differently than how they treat themselves.  Healthy people act with integrity because that is who they are, not because there is an advantage to do so.
  5. If one of these people like you see how often they engage in this behavior. No one is perfect, but if they do this behavior often perhaps its better to just let them go.  When you see this with other people you work with, try to distance yourself from dealing with that person.  If you can’t, then take exact notes and make sure there is a written understanding between you both.
  6. You hate in others what you hate in yourself. If this trait bothers you too much in others, you probably have issues to admit to yourself about it.  If this is something that you have to occasionally deal with it’s probably not a problem for you.
  7. Certain places/things attract passive-agressive people. This is very common behavior on Internet websites/dating/friendship sites.  You also see this behavior in places where adults might visit.  Like clubs, bars, nightclubs or dance places.  Rather than deal with people honestly people do what they feel is easier.
  8. These people have control issues. It’s not about their feelings, they may actually want what you are offering.  It’s about them feeling that they can’t be emotionally honest, or that being direct with their needs is too frightening.  These are immature people who haven’t grown up.
  9. Connection to heart source weak. These people should be sympathized with because they don’t have a good connection to their feelings and heart.  They are limited by their fears and so their ability to enjoy life is severely compromised.  It is too bad that people who say they are happy with their life, have no idea how wonderful it is to let go of their issues fully.
  10. People need to make mistakes to learn. Above all be patient.  People need to make mistakes to learn how to love and be human.  If the person has other great qualities, don’t dismiss them based on this one.  Unless it becomes overwhelming to you or you see that they are content to live as they currently do.  If they have an open heart or mind they might be open to change.  If they are not, then move on because there are plenty of good, healthy people who can be honest with their feelings and needs.

The 2010 InfoWorld Geek IQ Test Adventures in IT – InfoWorld

Emile Durkheim

Image via Wikipedia

The 2010 InfoWorld Geek IQ Test Adventures in IT – InfoWorld.  If you work in IT you should know these answers.

 

Jilly’s Dream. photo


Jilly’s Dream.

Originally uploaded by flickrzak

Looks like a painting doesn’t it?