Have you ever had a conversation with someone else and later learn that everything you said was misunderstood? Why does this happen?
I think this happens for a variety of reasons. The most important part is a failure to put ourselves in others shoes. It is hard to be sympathetic or empathetic sometimes with other people. It is especially sad when you see this between people who spend lots of time with each other like family or coworkers. I have seen people have empathy/sympathy burnout.
So how can you be understood and make sure you understand others? I think that Steven Covey’s principle of “Seek first to understand, then be understood” is very helpful. Before I learned this guideline I used to try to get others to understand me first. It never worked out. People wanted to be understood first, and they needed to feel understood first before they would listen to my needs. It wasn’t easy to listen to others sometimes when I wanted to defend my position and argue, but ultimately it was very helpful. I was always wrong to hurt their feelings, and I apologized. Then I listened to what they needed, and found a way to show them that I understood that. Then I explained my feelings and what I needed. This worked very well.
I think we take things out of context when we don’t first listen to others and not project our own thoughts/values/desires/expectations on others. Of course this is just my opinion I could be wrong.
This seems like a superficial analysis to me. Universities are certainly out of date with their market, but they aren’t doomed. Social skills, and a vast other range of skills can’t be taught quickly that I have seen. You really need to have stable long-term relationships to get some of the finer aspects of things like teamwork and responsibility tested and blossom.
So a few people aren’t buying it.
I had to use a landline today because my cell phone is broken. I have used them for so long you get used to cell phone quality. The clarity was surprising and I could understand what the other party was saying without the usual cut out or hiss. Using a landline after using an iPhone is the difference between night and day. How can we be seduced into using a phone with a network that is so poor at making calls?
I had my iPhone stolen some time ago and have used a Samsung phone that has the same problems with call dropping and poor voice quality. I can’t even imagine what kind of nightmare trying to tether would be on a phone. Perhaps this is why AT&T is not offering it.
Of course AT&T corporate says that they are building towers in my neighborhood and that it will be better this fall. It’s surprising because that’s the same thing they said last year when I had the same issues. Verizon and those HTC phones are looking pretty good. I’m looking at the options right now.
What was great about using the line the most? It was that it took me back to the pre-cell phone days where for the most part you could really hear the person you were talking to. Now with cells phones and perhaps culture, we have a hard time listening to someone else. I am convinced that part of the rise of texting has to do with the inability of most people to understand others verbal communication. I also think it’s because the cultural norms are lessened with texting and the informality is more comfortable for younger audiences.
Are cell phones popular mostly because we can play games? That is the #1 application used on them, followed by Google Maps, Twitter, Facebook. Are smartphones like the iPhone popular because of its link to the internet, and music more than its ability to place calls? Should we buy two cell phones, one for our social life and another for real phone use? In Chicago my experience has been that the iPhone is barely useable as a phone for business use. Too many dropped calls, poor voice quality and frustrating depleting battery even on new units. How about the iPhone with a module that allows you to choose your phone provider? Like a plug-in for Verizon, Sprint, or AT&T depending on who gives the best reception in your city? Is that too much to ask?
Saving money is great and I can understand why people would drop their landline. Perhaps this was a mistake. I wish that statics were available that showed the number of deaths caused by cell phone usage compared to land lines. I bet that many people who expect their cell phone to work in an emergency find out that it doesn’t, and possible dangerous consequences to their loved ones. I don’t believe in fear, but I must also admit that the price of a life is way more than the price of a monthly landline bill. Too often I have placed calls on many cell phone networks not just AT&T and it didn’t go through. I often wondered what I would have done if it had been an emergency like I was choking or having a heart attack. Sometimes our sense of security is a false one with a unrealiable cell phone.
This isn’t a criticism of any cell phone or network in specific. It is just some thoughts that I had after making a call today on my cell phone. I noticed an erratic and dangerous driver almost cause an accident in traffic today. I pulled over to make the call to 911 to report them and was so grateful that the call worked. Normally it doesn’t in the neighborhood I was in. Other peoples lives are just as important as my own. Why isn’t call quality the most important thing?